Julio Revealed
Besides myself, I realize that no one has met Julio. Well, that's not entirely true, the TL, unbeknownst to him, was once inches from Julio. However, at the time, TL was in a barely conscious state, having just digested three edible g-strings and at that point I had him tucked away in the cargo hold of our aircraft flying him out of Belgrade. What he was doing there is really Eyes Only information, let's just say that you may have noticed that all the talk about the rice shortage has pretty much gone away.
I met Julio on a site visit to McMurto Station in the Antarctic. I was importing stolen Market Day merchandise and Julio was trying to get his free lance escort business off the ground that he was calling "A Long Days Escort Into Night." (it was designed for the winter-over crew down there.) At the same time he ran into some legal problems when he tried to classify his workers as independent contractors and not employees, I was being hounded by the World Bank for unpaid tarriffs relating to my attempt to corner the market on Teak wood.
At that point, and over a bottle of bootlegged absynth, we did the only thing two desparate men could do, we flew to Rio. We hit the ground with only our wits, $9 and two cases of grapefruit. Under assumed names, we checked into a hostel, sold the grapefruit for cigarettes and plotted out return to the world stage.
Turns out the Brazilian economy does not function well with 3rd party, out of country checks (Who knew they wouldn't take a Hotfire Enterprises check drawn on a Malawian bank!) so out of the hostel we went. Through a brilliant plan that Julio devised that involved him acting as my adopted child, we rounded up enough money for jet fuel, and on the darkest night, left Rio for the sweltering environs of central Guatemala. Upon arrival and posing as international relief workers dedicated to the cause of catapulting the Guatemalan Union of Robotic Engineers (a small but dedicated bunch) to International prominence, we quickly procurred low paying but rewarding jobs. Shortly thereafter, Julio gained a bit of national notoriety when successfully negotiated to get Central America's first Mason's Lodge.
Our glide paths now set for success we embarked on many exhilerating, dangerous and viable ventures. I am trying to book him as a motivational speaker for our next get together where he can deliver the coup de grace talk titled "How To Win Countries and Influence The Coffee Trade."
Ciao
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"I feel the same way about disco as I do about herpes."
What in the blue hell does this mean, besides that you got your hands on some tainted suboxone?
And of course, now we can have some fun with the word "taint".
Taint that the truth?
I am *so* relieved that Julio is now (finally) working w/ U, & no longer "against" U wrt ensuring that my precious java supply remains pure & uninterrupted whilst I travel the world 2 win over said countries' titled... at long last something *good* is coming out of all that death cage nonsense!! Bravo to U & Julio ... :=)
~Faith
PS So there is *no* confusion as 2 my role in this venture, I am winning over the countries' titled; not winning the countries' titles, capice?
Hola,
Me name is Juan Eduardo Jiminez Adolfo Enrique Carlos Santez, but me friends, they call me Julio.
Me best hombre, Hootfire, he axed me to write reech peoples in cranberries townships axing for your help. Me and my hombre have spent muchos, muchos days and nights traveling to muchos countries looking for cures for incurable diseases. We drink muchos drinks, smoke funny looking plants and eat mushrooms that only grow in Guatemala. We do all this, only for you, you reech American cranberries.
Hootfire ax me to ax you to send him as many pesos as you can, so we can keep going to more Central American country to find cure for bad disease like toe nail fungus and hair growing out of ears.
Hootfire having some bank problems, so he ax that you give pesos, not checks. Bank no understand that Hootfire busy man, and no time to take pesos to bank to cover paper check written for jet fuel.
"Air Julio" will be taxied at Zelienople International Airport on Saturday. Please bring your pesos in large brown bags.
Mucho Gracias
I can't even say what I'm doing, I am lmao so hard at this post, B....
~* chanel *~
Zeli International Airport ... Saturday ... this one, yes? I do not have large brown bags, only small brown bags ... as in lunch bags ... where does one go, JEJAEC Santez aka Julio ... 2 take my gold bars & convert them 2 these pesos ... U & HF are in such desperate need 4?
~Faith
PS A reply is essential in order 4 me 2 comply, si?
Senorita Chanel. Julio not sure what you mean by "I can't even say what I'm doing". If Julio right in what he think it mean, Senorita should talk to Senor Hootfire about audition for re-opening in Panama of his "Getting Silly With The Filly" show.
Senorita Faith. Julio say gold bullion A-OK. Julio say no brown bag needed. Just geev to Julio and Julio turn into pesos and geev to Senor Hootfire. Julio good hombre and can be trusted to geev pesos back to Hootfire. Julio may be gone for several years, but Julio come back with all the pesos that are left to help find cure for polio.
I still do not know wtf I am doing except lmao..
~* chanel *~
LMAO!! Yet another of your unique blogs worth repeating at the next gig-all to make us crack up!! You are unbelievable! Hilarious!!
ICE ha sido informada al respecto. Usted debe hacer lo agarra y barrer!
Sincerly,
MarÃa Elena Alvarez Conchita Smith
Julio teniendo el dinero y correr.
Voy a ser el cuarto en la bolsa marrón de la izquierda. No te olvides de mÃ, mi amor !!!!!
Julio is not only a hard worker and great pilot, but quite a ladies man. For anyone showing up at the airport tomorrow, you may want to bring an overnight bag. I am leaving earlier to do some recon at our next location. I will text Julio my GPS coordinates when he is in flight and he can bring you all to my (our) location. You won't need a passport, but you will need the following: (BTW - we only need the ladies)
1) Push-up bra
2) Extra AA batteries
3) $100 in small bills
4) An open mind
5) Any sort of riding crop/whip/lasso that you may have lying around
6) Proof of insurance naming Hotfire Enterprises as an additional insured
That should do it. This could be big (su) and I may need a confidentiality agreement signed.
what would the 'aa' batteries be for? i am lmao. you are hilarious!
~* chanel *~
Guaranteed you will not need a signed agreement from me... I do have the list of essentials packed and waiting to go...I want only your "hands" touching my personal belongings!
Julio must handle mine bags! SI?
Sincerely,
MarÃa Elena Alvarez Conchita Smith
I can certainly arrange that K...in fact it is part of the spa treatment I have arranged for you. You're not allergic to latex are you?
Those 'large' hands....i know what you are saying...
~* chanel *~
This nude maid that I hired took of with all of my jewelery and Gold bars! She has also been posting under my login. Don't ever hire MarÃa Elena Alvarez Conchita Smith as your nude maid! And make sure you log out!
IN Out In Out. Take a minute!
finally made it to the end of this freaking blog. Please people you need to be more serious. I am laughing MAO! I can't stand you people for doing this..OMG !!!! too freaking funny...
~* chanel *~